apparently, the attention spans of people who read blogs and comments is very short. i have been told this before, that my postings are way too long, and i was told again tonight by my Cousin, who i asked for suggestions.

"hey Cousin, how's my blog?"

*Cousin makes face* "it's good, but it's a bit...uhhh..."

"what?'

"uhhhhhh..."

"?"

"long. your posts are a bit long. you go through lots of tangents."

*sigh. yes, i am the long-rambling, tangent queen. a lover of parentheses and dashes, to illustrate tangential points. i have to cut back...

but i still refuse to use the shift key dear Cousin...

childhood and perceptions

this is ridiculous. i realize that this blogging thing is both preciously precocious and abominably inadequate. the screen in front of me is flat, cannot possibly encompass the 3-dimensionality of character. you will see me as a product of my words - my opinions will define me, and with that power, i must be incredibly careful. if i say the wrong thing, express the wrong opinion, you will judge me as humans will, make assumptions and create perceptions that may or may not be true. or perhaps, they may be negative and truer than even i can comprehend - because we are the blind spots to ourselves. we are the points of reference that cannot be seen by our own eyes, and perhaps what we perceive to be our real selves are not our selves at all...

to the first born go the brains

ha! i knew it! this is why i always tell my younger brothers how much smarter i am than them:

http://health.msn.com/healthnews/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100165115&GT1=10109

cue the intro music

i find introductions awkward (*shuffling of feet back and forth). as much as blogs are a form of self-centered ego ("look at me! i'm special/different/new/alive!"), i'm not entirely sure i like writing about myself. which is why i end up using the technique of writing about myself in third person, like some schizophrenic talking to all her selves at once. or maybe just like someone with a bluetooth thingy stuck in her ear - now people walk around everywhere seemingly talking to themselves, and as soon as you begin to believe they may be slightly mad, they turn and there it is, gleaming, like some symbiotic, mutually beneficial parasite, a barnacle, and leech. we are indeed slowly becoming obsessed with the self.